Still Hurting

I was hoping to calm down in a few days. But looks like this anger won't recede easily. I wrote a long emotional post full of expletives and profanity 2 days back, but refrained from posting it. I thought I could handle myself once I cool down.. But may be, being in India and in Mumbai at that, is not letting me. And in a strange way I want to continue being angry.. And I want India to be angry.

This hurts. This physically hurts. There's a strange toxic mix of anger and sadness inside me. Not sure there's an antidote for that. May be a complete annihilation of POK..

But then again, when I think with a little context and put some perception around last week's grand display of inhumanity, I think India had it coming. For too long India has taken it's one billion "cheap" human population for granted and it had it coming for a while.

Nothing happens in a vacuum. There are a series of events, series of missteps along the way that bring about such devastation on a nation. Those 20 odd, punjabi/urdu speaking young men were holding the entire might of Indian state hostage for a reason; because *they could*! And that to with relative ease. They have exposed something about our internal security apparatus that we always knew but were in denial.

And more than that they exposed something far bigger. Those 20 assholes exposed the dis-unity of the Indians. And that hurts like nothing else. Even during this extreme point of pain and crisis, when country should have come together with one voice, the Indians have responded, as only we could - incoherently, clueless-ly and with a sense of hopelessness.

India is the next 'Super Power' ?? My foot. You wanna know what super powers or wannabe super powers do when such inhuman acts are forced on them externally? You don't have to look too far; Indians, just check your big neighbor next door, and you may get some clues.

But it's not enough to just sulk at this point.To try and understand what happened and why, one has to connect the dots to the past. That's the only way we can make some sense of this spectacular dance of inhumanity.

..to be continued

All Set

So looks like we are all set. My wife has made sure I am not procrastinating. Procrastination is something I revel at. She set a deadline for this Sunday to pack all bags, complete all shopping and documentation etc. So that we can just jet, set, go... I am almost there and mentally checked out from here of course.

Although I still need to buy a book to read on the flight. I am thinking of getting 'The Ascent of Money', written by a very smart guy - Niall Ferguson, a Brit with a sense of humor (I know, sounds oxymoron)

Also made a list of movies I need to get while coming back. I have Ijazat, Shatranj Kay Khiladi, Party, Kalyug, Albert Pinto Ko.., Mohan Joshi Hazir Ho, Nayagan(Tamil), Chanakya (TV Series), Bharat Ek Khoj (TV Series)... on the list. Not sure if they are available on DVD yet. I also wanted to get a 1980s movie called New Delhi Times. I don't think it saw the light of the day, but it might still have a DVD. There are some comedy Marathi dramas, that we need to get too. My wife has a list of those.

Totally looking forward to our train journey from Mumbai to Nagpur. Should be fun, hopefully.

Other things I am looking forward to

• Food! of course.. this has to top the list. Bade Miya Kebobs in Colaba,Mumbai, Barbeque in Sadar,Ngp, apart from Saoji for sure. Adding 5 pounds per fortnight wouldn't surprise moi!
  
• Bike ride escapades in Ngp. Two wheelers still rule. And rock!
• Plan to fly some kites while in there. This is kite season and I might have some serious cuts on my fingers when I come back.
• Few family get togethers at the Gondwanas should be cool.
• Be at my niece's school for her concert. She already got me booked for that on phone today.
  
• Visit either Pachmarhi, Kanha or Kalmazari. Also on her demand.
• IMAX theater, Ngp again with my niece. I ditched her last time and need to make up for that. It's on the other end of the town apparently.
  
• Visit to Dad's ancestral village, in Yeotmal district, possibly and have Zhunka Bhakar there
  
• A visit to Ngp Infotech Park. A close relation owns a company there. Should be quite an experience to walk around and check Nagpur's newest feather.
  
• Plan to catch up Marathi drama while in Mumbai.
• My wife insists on going to Indian version of McDonalds (Or as they say MAK-donalds). Not personally interested though. But will have to budge eventually.
• Mom, might insist on visiting Koradi Temple. Also Mahalaxmi temple, Mumbai should be on cards from my wife's end. No escaping either demands.
  

Some packed schedule this! Even 4 weeks seem short. Will see!